STOP STEALING JOKES.

THE INTERNET IS A PLACE WHERE, IF SOMEONE VAGUELY RECOGNIZES SOMETHING YOU'VE SAID OR FINDS IT UNCHARACTERISTICALLY FUNNY COMING FROM YOUR ASSJUICE WORD HOLE, THEY CAN EASILY TYPE IT IN AND PROVE IT BELONGS TO ANOTHER PERSON. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE THAT MY NEWS FEED IS CONSISTENTLY OVERLOADED WITH JOKE THEFT BY JOKE THIEVES WHO THINK THEY WILL GO UNNOTICED? THEY PROBABLY STEAL LOAVES OF BREAD AND DON'T EVEN SHARE IT WITH THEIR LOVEABLE AND MISCHIEVOUS PET MONKEY, OR HOMELESS STREET ORPHANS.  

This country is finished.

I like wanting.

 Currently experiencing life at an ever increasing rate of several wtf's per minute.

It was a great party. Thank you.

EVERYONE NEEDS TO COME TO MY FRIGGIN BIRTHDAY PARTY IN WATERLOO ON AUGUST 15TH.  IT'S GOING TO BE A POOL/PATIO PARTY WITH FREE BOOZE AND FREE FOOD. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. AND BRING A POSSE.

One of my biggest fears is that if I ever decide to be stupid enough to marry, it will be with somebody who I'm only mildly interested in. That's so lame.

CAN I FAST FORWARD TO THE GOOD PART YET?

Officially hooked on True Blood. Thanks guys.

I'm so tired of indulging you when you're in the mood to grant me permission.