My friend and Internet crush JohnHoller apparently made a log of his daily breakfasts last year on Facebook and yesterday I stumbled upon it while looking through his blog section, and I peed myself laughing. Because I initially thought, "Oh I get it, this is a joke, this is to be funny and poke fun at health freaks who chronicle their dieting habits" but then I talked to him and realized it is not a joke and this is an actual daily log of what this man eats for breakfast during a five month timeframe. Check this out:
December 3 - Sausage links, hash brown, toast, coleslaw and coffee
December 4 - Pizza, popcorn chicken and coffee
December 5 - Beef quesadilla, string cheese and coffee
December 6 - Roast beef sandwich, two clementines, glass of milk and coffee
December 7 - Campbell's Chunky Fajita Beef soup, glass of milk, string cheese and a honey cruller
December 10 - Chicken and Sante Fe vegetable stirfry, glass of milk and coffee
December 11 - A donair, mini loaf of banana bread and coffee
December 12 - Hamburger Helper, diced potatoes, 3 sausage links and coffee
December 13 - Tim Horton's sausage, egg and cheese breakfast sandwich, a donair, handful of generic teddy graham cookies and coffee
December 14 - Fried balogna, cheese and broccoli rice, spare ribs with hoisin sauce, spinach and a can of Fresca
December 16 - Two slices of summer sausage, two pieces of marble cheese, and a protein shake
December 17 - Campbell's Healthy Choice clam chowder (added half a package of crab meat), beef quesedilla and a can of Sprite Zero
December 18 - Turkey and roast beef sandwich, Campbell's vegetable soup, coffee
December 19 - Brown rice spiral pasta with bacon and alfredo sauce, chicken breast with thai yellow curry sauce, and coffee
December 20 - Emperor Chicken, Green beans with chili sauce, a slice of (Pizza Plus) pizza with sausage and mushrooms and a can of Sprite Zero
December 21 - Beef Quesadilla and coffee
December 24 - McDonald's big breakfast, can of sprite zero
December 27 - Spiral sliced baked ham, carrots, potatoes and a glass of water
December 28 - 2 slices of pizza made on whole wheat bread, a glass of water
December 31 - A can of Alphaghetti, beef quesadilla, cup of coffee
January 2 - Slice of beef pot roast, carrots au gratin, green beans, a chicken foot in black bean sauce, pork dumpling, shrimp in a nooodle roll and a can of sprite zero.
January 3 - Taco pie, soy sauce chicken, deep fried turkey in gravy, steamed broccoli, and a glass of Perrier with lemon
January 4 - Fried porkchops with onions, white rice and a glass of Del Monte strawberry & kiwi cocktail
January 7 - Two shrimp quesadillas and a can of Sprite Zero
January 8 - A can of Chef Boyardee Lasagna, a peanut butter and honey sandwich and coffee
January 9 - A shrimp ring with cocktail sauce, a beef & bean burrito and a can of Sprite Zero
January 10 - Sausage, egg and cheese McMuffin, a hasbrown, an order of hotcakes and coffee.
January 14 - 3 slices of Little Caesars' supreme pizza and a glass of Del Monte apple raspberry cocktail
January 15 - A bowl of EnviroKidz Organic Gorilla Munch Cereal and a slice of cheese toast
January 16 - Hong Kong style sweet and sour chicken, steamed mixed vegetables, white rice
January 17 - Two sunny side up eggs, toast, four sausage links, 4 slices of bacon, hashbrown potatoes, timbits, cantaloupe and a glass of orange juice
January 19 - All beef hot dog in a slice of bread, raisin bran muffin, coffee
January 21 - Jamaican jerk porkchop, peanut butter and honey sandwich and coffee
January 22 - Sushi (rolls with shrimp, egg and avocado) and coffee
Jnauary 23 - Salmon in black bean sauce with white rice and steamed broccoli, and coffee
January 24 - Sausage, egg and cheese McMuffin, a hasbrown, coffee
January 25 - Stouffer's Herb Grilled Chicken with roast potatoes and garden vegetables, 3 chicken fingers and a McCain Berry Punch juice box.
January 28 - Chef Boyardee ravioli, a honey dijon pork chop, and coffee
January 29 - Mini pizza, two chicken fingers, tapioca pudding and coffee
January 31 - Can of Zoodles
February 1 - Can of Alphagetti
February 4 - Two slices of Pizza Hut stuffed crust with pepperoni, bacon and green peppers, water
February 5 - Two custard paczkis, one strawberry paczki, BBQ pork, soy sauce chicken, penne in tomato sauce, four chicken and cheese meatballs, steamed green beans and a glass of water
February 6 - Penne in tomato sauce, bbq chicken, steamed broccoli, glass of water
February 7 - String cheese, bowl of Reese Puffs cereal mixed with Corn Pops cereal in milk, can of Campbell's chicken soup with wild and white rice, glass of water
February 8 - Two salmon steaks, three sausage rolls and coffee
February 11 - Ritz crackers with smoked-salmon cream cheese and caviar, a mini cheese pizza and coffee
February 12 - Two WhiteCastle hamburgers (one of them topped with caviar), coffee
February 13 - Cantonese Lo Mein and coffee
February 14 - Sweet tomato stew on white rice, steak in gravy, coffee
February 19 - Chef Boyardee Beef Ravioli, glass of water
February 21 - Tim Hortons sausage, egg and cheese breakfast sandwich, homestyle hashbrown, gatorade
February 22 - McDonald's sausage, egg and cheese McMuffin, hashbrown and coffee
February 25 - Whole-wheat pita pizza and coffee
February 26 - Tuna salad sandwich, three gummy hamburgers, coffee
February 28 - Whole-wheat pita pizza and coffee
February 29 - Curry chicken and potatoes, Nestea Raspberry iced tea
March 3 - Two hotdogs, Nestea peach iced tea
March 4 - Five chicken fingers, coffee
March 5 - Meat, macaroni & cheese loaf sandwich, coffee
March 6 - Fried porkchops with onions and white rice, Healthy Choice tapioca pudding and coffee
March 7 - Sausage, egg and cheese McMuffin, hash brown, Cheese String, animal-shaped toaster pancake
March 10 - Chicken and California vegetable stir fry, can of Sprite Zero
March 12 - Hong Kong style sweet and sour chicken, coffee
March 13 - Pizza on whole wheat bread, two sausage rolls, can of ginger ale
March 17 - Cream of Brocolli soup, toast, coffee
March 18 - Pita pizza, glass of water
March 19 - Pan seared salmon steak, white rice, string beans and carrots, glass of iced tea
March 24 - Turkey, honey ham, macaroni and cheese, corn, brocolli with cheese sauce, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and Life brand citrus flavoured water.
March 25 - Cantonese lo mein, Lipton peach iced tea
March 26 - Brown rice spiral pasta with broccoli and bacon in four cheese alfredo sauce, indian butter chicken breasts, a slice of butterscotch pie and Lipton peach iced tea
March 27 - McDonald's sausage, egg and cheese McMuffin, hashbrown and coffee
March 31 - Kraft dinner, 2 chicken fingers, green beans and Lipton Peach Iced Tea
April 1 - Sushi rolls (avocado, shrimp, snow peas) and Lipton Raspberry white tea
April 2 - Chicken in black bean sauce, white rice, boiled cabbage and coffee
April 3 - Popcorn chicken, pizza on whole wheat bread and coffee
April 7 - Shake and bake chicken, garlic mashed potatoes, carrots, kraft dinner, two crescent rolls and coffee
April 8 - Honey Ham, BBQ Pork, garlic mashed potatoes, green beans, broccoli and cheddar rice, and coffee
April 9 - Beef in black pepper sauce, white rice, coffee
April 10 - Meatball and mozarella Hot Stuffs pocket, coffee
April 11 - Two salmon steaks, white rice, coffee
April 14 - Meatball and mozarella Hot Stuffs pocket, coffee
April 15 - Bacon dipper crackers, chocolate covered almonds, glass of milk, mini pizza, Pollock filet in garlic and butter, coffee
April 16 - Chicken with black bean and pepper sauce, white rice, coffee
April 17 - Sweet and sour pork, white rice, coffee
April 21 - Two Bennigan's mini chicken burgers, coffee
April 22 - One piece of Bennigan's battered fish, coffee
April 23 - A Taco Bell Bacon Club Chalupa, spicy chicken taco, peach iced tea
April 24 - General Tso's Chicken, BBQ spare ribs, cheese and broccoli rice, glass of water
April 26 - Slice of processed cheese, Yop yogurt drink, cranberry nut muffin, coffee
April 28 - honey ham, green beans, mashed potatoes, coffee
April 29 - Chicken quesadilla, coffee
April 30 - Chicken, broccoli, and cheese Hot Stuffs Pocket, coffee.
It just gets funnier and funnier each day. Sometimes I thought it looked like he was attempting to be health conscious by listing things as "whole wheat" or "health check" but then it follows up with something like "CHEF BOYARDEE LASAGNA AND FRIED PORKCHOPS". Oh my god. And he is somehow not even fat, I don't understand how this is reality.
Back to my life, see ya. Trying to avoid Swine Flu and Windsor girls who are orange in the face.
- Music:the bird and the bee//again and again
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